Weep Not For the Memories

I woke up that morning with a thought: I wanted to write a letter to her. After all it has been a few months since I did, and online communcation, even Skype, would not cut it. A handwritten letter is always one of the most beautiful things to receive. Don't you think so? To me, it seems so much more personal and sincere.

I wrote that letter carefully, every Mandarin character clear and concise. She could not read, so while having the letter read to her would suffice, I decided to print out some photos to accompany it, sealing everything in an envelope. I thought it would be nice to keep her updated, and make several people smile when it reaches home.

The very next day - it was a Friday - I went to the Post Office and had it sent off, expecting it to be in Malaysia in a week. It usually takes around a week.

A few days later, I received news that she had passed away.

She never got to see that letter.

She has given so much to all of us in the family without asking for anything back. She would always smiling whenever we were around, even when she might not be feeling well. Never being one to complain, there was no denying that she's strong inside. She held onto tradition, the one to keep our roots firmly intact in the family, at the same time making do with the new as well. She used to reprimand us, but she would pamper us even more. And she would always remind us to excel in whatever we do.

I couldn't write anything much for a while, although it did make me unusually focused on my essays later on just so my thoughts wouldn't start wandering off.

I couldn't go back for the funeral. It was a difficult decision to make. But I could imagine her wanting me to get through all the work in university. I was on Skype to watch it all.

We'll always love and remember you, Ah Ma. I always will. <3