On PLKN suspense

"If I see my name on the list, you'll hear my
scream from miles away..."

That I told Charmaine.

Do you know those shows, the ones with the catchy lines, that ironically becomes apparent in the future? The words now ring in my ear like a ghoul back from the dead. Somehow, I knew that these words would come back to haunt me.

When Wen Lian told me that the PLKN (National Service) list is out, I could vaguely hear my heart throbbing in my mouth. I thought that it was a false alarm when I couldn't find the list online! Then the news started spreading to tuition. It is true, they say, it is here, it is now.

The Internet showed no sign of that list. So clear yet so invisible. Where is it? Might as well get it over with than to let that stomach-curdling suspense rapture what's left of my guts. But I suppose it'll spill sooner or later. So now I shall think not of it.

It isn't possible not to. It is everywhere. Everyone asking anyone if they had seen the list. For those who had seen it, it made the world seem so small. Everywhere, they would rant, "Kena! Kena! Kena!" (Got it!) and start asking the same question day in and day out.

The final list will be made by tomorrow. The intensity can but heighten as the day slowly drifts by. Paranoia is the word.

Keying in my IC number into that website, I hesitated a little, but still clicked the button...

I am not screaming.